The Way Things Are

A saying that I have embraced and has been very influential in my life is…

"Realize the way things are, not the way you wish they would be."

I'm not sure who I first heard this concept from or else I would give them credit because I'm sure this is not a new thought.

Let me give you a brief explanation, then 3 real life examples to start to trigger your own ideas and then a simple question to set you off on the right direction this weekend,

For whatever reason we come to believe things should be a certain way. And due to the law of congruency we believe we should be that way too and try and fit ourselves into that box.

However we are all very dynamic human beings, not robots. And the struggle to fit ourselves into these boxes and constantly failing at it, let's just say causes problems.

And the solution is to realize this is the way I am and figure out how to make it work being that way instead of going down the no win path of changing the way we naturally are.

Yes, its very simple but many times the most powerful things are those that can be boiled down to their most basic, simplest nature.

   EXAMPLE 1:

I'm not a morning person. So when morning comes I have a strong desire to lay in bed. And there are those mornings when I REALLY want to give myself another 10, 30 or even extra hour of sleep.

However I have realized the way I am is if I do that, if I don't get out of bed right away, then the rest of the day is wasted. In exchange for those extra minutes of pleasure sleeping in, I endure an entire day of unproductive grogginess. I might as well stayed in bed all day long.

So I have realized the way I am and make it work - I jump out of bed, regardless how I feel, and in return the rest of the day is great.

    EXAMPLE 2:
 
Matt and I were having brunch today with a friend of ours who is advising us on some things we are working on.

In the past he was extremely successful in helping other business owners grow their business into the millions, even hundreds of millions of dollars. And making them extremely wealthy in the process.

However when he tried to do it for himself he didn't have the same success.

He spent the past several years of his life trying to fit into the box of the way he thought it should be (if he could do it for others he should do it for himself and doing it for yourself is the only way).

It was when he realized that his strength is doing it for others and not for himself. AND the solution is to have his compensation directly tied into the results he produced for doing it for others. Then he would accomplish his goals by accepting the way things are and then making that way work instead of trying to change the way he is to fit into the way he thought it should be.

   EXAMPLE 3:

Mark Victor Hanson talks about the 4 types of people. I don't remember off the top of my head what they are exactly. But I am the first type, the creative type.

My skill and strength is coming up with the idea/concept and the plan to make it happen.

My skill is not being any of the 3 other types of people (moving things forward , implementing those ideas and plans and doing the daily tasks.)

I was able to get by in business by doing my best to be those other "people types" but that only works for so long.

And I would beat myself up mentally because I wasn't good at or able to do those other roles. And then because I was not good at them but tried to do them, I wasn't doing the role that I was good at which frustrated me even more.

Finally, I realized "this is the way I am, and this is not the way I am". I realized that was OK and NORMAL. And my new awareness opened me up to all the possibilities to make it work by me only being me.

So how do you grow to a $30 million dollar company in 3 years and still love what you do and only work when you want to? (The person we met with today actually told us we are thinking small and it should be $100 million, I like his way of thinking!)

Figure out the way you are (what you are the best at, that is the most lucrative and you enjoy doing) and create a business/life that allows you to only do that.

Well, there is obviously a lot more to it than that. And I actually was given a really cool exercise to help you with this that I will share with you after I get back from my trip to the wilderness.

   For now ask yourself:

Of everything I am currently doing, what do I enjoy doing and am good at?And what am I doing that I do not enjoy and am not as good at but it still has to be done?

~KevinP.S.
I am off for the next week to take an adventure camp in the wilderness outside of Vancouver. Wish me luck that I come back in one piece!

And in the meantime other members of the Nitro team will be posting here for you too so be sure to subscribe to the RSS feed and check back often.

personal development, self improvement, success

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