A Life Worth Living

I’m not sure where this came from, but a natural way of being for me is, as soon as I learn something I want to turn around and pass it onto others.

That way of being is hard wired in every area of my life (I can’t not be that way!) and probably one of the reasons people like and respect me.

It’s definitely the reason I have a training company and am so passionate about what we do at Nitro. It gives me the ability to be fully expressed professionally and make a difference in people’s lives all at the same time.

And over the past couple weeks I’ve learned 3 very empowering things about myself (first by hitting a version of “rock bottom” in my life) that will forever change my life.

And it’s my hope, by being very open and vulnerable and sharing them with you, it can  make a positive difference in your life too.

The Roller Coaster Of Business Misery

For the past 6 years my business has been a crazy roller coaster of ups and downs.

That part is quite normal for business and being an entrepreneur.

However what was not normal is that the down periods started happening more frequently and each time they would be harder to get out of.

Harder both in the tactical business sense and especially harder for me mentally and emotionally. Each down period I would subconsciously take on more “weight” that I was all-alone in figuring it out and getting us out of it.

Gradually, over the years of living my business life this way it was becoming brutally tough on me.

Eventually it got to the point that all I could relate to my business was frustration and isolation and a having a complete lack of motivation, inspiration and fulfillment.

To say I was NOT happy, alive and fulfilled professionally would be an understatement.

Then this year’s down period, the mental and emotional “weight” and “it’s all up to me” sense of responsibility I was already carrying and the new weight I was adding on top of it one more time was completely and totally oppressive.

Finally in October I told myself I had enough and was committed to figuring out what was going on up in my subconscious that was causing this to happen.

It was 4 weeks ago, on Halloween, that somebody asked in an online mastermind group I’m a part of, “How did you discover your Why?”

My hard-wire desire to give back and share what worked for me kicked in!

And as I was typing up how I discovered my Why, of living life from a place of Awakening Potential… I become very aware with the reality that the soul of who I am as a person, of “Awakening Potential” had not been present in my business life for the past 2+ years.

That the core of who I am as a person that brought so much joy, passion and sense of purpose and fulfillment, my Why, was dead… or more accurate totally not present for the past 2 years.

It devastated me to fully embrace the impact of living life that way for so long.

Like any normal person, I wallowed in the misery and tears of that realization for a good couple of hours.

And then took off the pity hat and put on the solution hat and was extremely grateful to finally start to get a teeny-tiny peak into what had been going on for way too long.

After amazing conversations with my coach for the past 6 years, and then my “Board of Advisor” group who has seen me slowly fall into this pit I was in, I decided to go back through the Landmark Forum to fast track the discovery of the cause of it all and create a new possibility for myself and my future.

I did the Forum 2 ½ years ago and ever since then felt it was the best personal growth program I’ve ever done and now was excited to do it again, but this time with the focus on my business life.

Day 1 was 10 days ago, Friday, November 21st and  it gave me the gift of the following 3 Discoveries.

The Crash That Never Left (Discovery #1)

What I initially discovered was that the first time I picked up the emotional “weight” and responsibility of “its all up to me” was back in 2008, going into 2009, when the economy crashed and our business was turned upside down.

Like so many other businesses, what used to work no longer worked and it was a scramble to figure out the new way of business.

It was during my lowest point in early 2009 when the possibility of not figuring it out became very real. For weeks I would find myself sitting on my couch at the end of the night when I was done working and was left with my thoughts.

And all I could think of was the business failing, losing everything, and moving back home to Iowa and living in my mom’s basement.

Night after night I would end my day with this exact same downward mental spiral of death and destruction.

Failing and thus “looking bad” is my biggest fear, and for the first time since becoming successful in business I was staring the possibility of failing in the face… and it terrified me unlike anything I had ever experienced.

After weeks of living this way, I got the courage to tell my coach about my nightly routine.

She then walked me through a simple process to use whenever I found myself starting my “mental spiral of death and destruction” that would instantly put me into a confident state and mindset.

It was at this lowest point that the inspiration and clarity became present to make the leap into local marketing.

And because its how my brain is hard-wired, in Nitro we also created the Local Business Money Machine to share what was working in this new direction.

And over the next 18 months we went to the highest of highs we ever had as a company and impacted more lives then ever before.

Between having 1,000’s of people who had success and making money from our training, to having record breaking revenue numbers and taking everybody in our company on an all expense paid cruise as a reward during the summer of 2010…

Life was amazing!

But despite the success, the fear and mental “weight” and sense of “it’s all up to me” responsibility was who I had subconsciously became back in 2009.

Which meant every down period we experienced as a company (the next one was during the Fall of 2010) it was engrained deeper and deeper into my psyche.

And it sucked more and more of the life and passion out of me.

And pushed me to create greater and greater levels of isolation with the people around me in business and in my company.

Which made the down periods come more frequently and increasingly more difficult.

Until it became so unbearable I was numb to it all and essentially “dead” to my business for the past 2 years.

And as I shrunk mentally and emotionally, Nitro's ability to impact people's lives was right in step with me!

For that…

I am deeply sorry to you and ask for your forgiveness.  

If you are reading this then you are either a friend or somebody who was inspired by our training and what we stand for as a company (our mission is to Inspire, Teach, Support and Inspire People To Transform Their Lives.)

But for these past 2+ years that is not how I (and also Nitro Marketing as an expression of who I am) showed up for you and I take ownership in letting you down.

You deserve better then who we have been these past 2 years!

From The Ashes Come A New Possibility…

It was in that moment of clarity last Friday that I choose to now live in the possibility of Being Alive.

To be alive in every area of my life and business; to wake up each morning and live that day with a sense of excitement, passion, motivation, inspiration and fulfillment.

That was who I used to be and it felt great to know I could be that way again.

And it was through Discovery #1 that I regained access once again to living a life and having a business of Awakening Potential

I'm Too Busy (Discovery #2)

Wow… if that first story, its impact on my life and the new way of living life of “Discovery #1” was intense… this next one is 10 times greater!!

Read Part 2 Here

But first I want to check in with you.

This isn’t a typical blog post!

We are not talking about business, or how to get more clients.

Instead we’re having a discovery together (by sharing with you my own story) on how we limit ourselves in life and never even realize we are doing it!

QUESTION: 

In the comment box below, let me know…

  • Do you find this helpful?
  • What are you getting out of it for yourself?
  • And would you like me to continue?

To be continued! (or not)

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34 Responses to A Life Worth Living
  1. Kevin:

    I don't know if you remember me. Back in 2008 through 2010, I was one of your top affiliates for Nitro Marketing Blueprint, which I still have to this day. I was also running a very successful business which had peaked in 2008.

    Then, starting in 2009, things started to slowly decline. As you said, what used to work wasn't working anymore until finally, in 2013, my business totally crashed to the point where I had earned a little over $5,000 that year.

    I am still digging my way out of it, having totally abandoned the IM "make money" niche and have gone in a totally different direction. It took me a long time to realize that I had to change my mindset and my way of doing things.

    During this whole time, I thought I was alone. I thought I was the only successful Internet marketer who had hit rock bottom. I continued to think that way…until today when I read this blog post.

    They say misery loves company but that's not what this is about. I want nothing more for you to have the kind of success and life that you deserve. You were always responsive to me during my years as an affiliate and I will never forget that. At the same time, it's encouraging to know that you can hit rock bottom and still come out from under it. I am still in the process, and I know it's going to be a long one, but I am confident that I can return to a time when I didn't have to worry about being out on the street. See, I don't have a "mom's basement" (she passed away in 2009) to go to.

    Thank you for having the courage to share this with me. I know it couldn't have been easy.

    Sincerely,

    Steven Wagenheim
    Former Internet Guru

  2. Thank you for being so open and honest with us. I consider you my #1 Mentor and I look for your wisdom and leadership to keep me motivated and determined to be successful in this crazy business. It is to easy to be "UP" and "down" — from flying high with excitement to feeling like giving up because "it just won't work!" I'm looking forward to your continued blog to let me know how I get beyond the roller coaster and feel a security and satisfaction from helping local businesses grow.

  3. Janos Kovacs

    Kevin, it was really refreshing to read your post that is not about hype and sales etc., but proves the real man behind the story. I think many of us experienced already things like you are talking about, and – in my opinion – to share thoughts and understandings related to that might be the biggest help one can give to those suffering from this kind of ups and downs of life. Which, otherwise is completely OK – because this is what life is normally supposed to be about.

  4. Bev

    Sharing what you have Kevin is amazing – and helpful. I think we can all at times feel we are the only one going through a tough time – that there is fundamentally something flawed about us, and us alone.
    You are the ultimate professional – and despite feeling the joy had gone, you continued to offer – even if you yourself did not feel you were.
    I love the expression – "You never fail unless you give up." It's so true – and you didn't give up.
    I hope you will feel the positive emotions from so many of the people who have read your articles, and have learned from them, because I am sure, like myself, so many are still with you on our journey.
    Please share, continue, because it may just help someone else to see how you came through – and give them the courage to do the same.
    Janos made a relevant point – life is cyclical, there are ups and downs. Hopefully with the downs we learn something valid that will help at a later date.

  5. Kevin I bought your system almost this time last year. I was inspire by the posiblity of what you shared when I purchased your programs last year. I was able to get some clients and then lost them. Thank you for being honest! It's refreshing to hear the reality of a guru and know we are all human (well most of us) But seriously I feel honesty brings you closer to you followers and I am ready (and need) to rebuild. I am excited about what will come next from your amazing insperation! You can do it Kevin!

  6. Mike

    Very helpful! I was just talking to a group about the same exact thing last night ironically enough. I "forgot" why I even cared about doing what was in my heart.

    I forgot my why, in fact, I don't think I ever KNEW my why. I just felt a tug and went in that direction.

    And of course you should continue! No question…

    You're awesome my friend. Love you for life brother!

  7. Kevin,

    Thanks for being so open and real with regard to your challenges. Sounds like you have Landmark Education in your background and training.

    I will see you as one who is being alive, and encourage you to renew that each day and each moment you choose to do that. Yours is the kind of business the world could use more of. Being a full time promoter of small businesses online, I've learned from several sources that empowered me to work from home and prosper. You are one of them. Thank you and keep up the good work.

  8. Ed

    You are brave to share Kevin. I too am going through something that I'm not sure about, but it's affecting the business negatively. The lows have been happening with more frequency since 2007. Reading this helps me start to pinpoint what could be wrong, so that I can do something about it. I hope you find it within yourself to continue.

  9. Hey Kevin,

    I'm proud of you dude. It takes guts to post something like this and smarts to be able to actually articulate it. What comes next for you is the really exciting part.

  10. Charlie

    I actually hit my low point in 2013 when I looked in my wallet at the last $20 I had to my name. Couldn't believe it had been two years since I quit my corp position to partner in an agency. Made some money, lost a lot of money, and found myself in six figure debt and two kids in college. (I know, you're thinking "what an idiot").

    Like Steven, I lost "my mom's basement" in 2009 when she passed. Having no choice, I had to bite the bullet and go get a job, which I'm still at to this day. As grateful as I am for the opportunity, hopefully 2015 will be the year I can shed myself of being dependently employed once and for all.

    Although still strapped with baggage, I am slowly crawling out of the hole and look forward to the day when this is a distant memory and I can have a positive "why" rather than just trying to survive.

    I hope you will continue to share your story as it is truly inspirational.

    Thank you Kevin.

  11. Kevin,

    I met you at an event you held in Dallas a few years ago.
    It was a great event – just so you know.

    I have been through some cycles over the past few years myself.
    In 2008 I got into the Local Marketing niche after a technology company I was a 25% partner in imploded – with a backlog of about a million dollars of implementation work.

    I did some hard-core cold calling and "bought" 103 low-value clients for basic SEO services. It was a crazy and heady time – when seo was simple and easy. Dealing with those low value clients was a pain, though…the ALL had terrible websites, and no concept about how lead generation works, and one fateful day, when three of them emailed me the same day, asking when their accounts would renew, I lost my cool decided to "fire my clients". I had busted my a$$ to get them on page 1 for really competitive keywords, but they were never satisfied. Not even for the measly $300/mo I was (under)charging them.

    I had decided to launch a mobile website conversion service and got a marketing-sales platform all set up, with some slick eCommerce capabilities, hired three former sales guys from YP, SuperPages, etc…but the sales were not enough. And whenever my Fb ads showed, a Dudamobile ad offering "Get a FREE Mobile Site in 15 Seconds" would pop. I did some cold calling – but when an attorney said "You're the sixth call I've had today about this." I realized that there were too many "Mobi" customers out there doing the same thing.
    So, I pulled the plug on that.

    I have not been focused enough since.
    The plan that you and Ed Downes sold was good and seemed viable, but, I did not work it aggressively enough.

    Long story short: Here it is, Christmas Season and my numbers for this year are anemic.
    I need to take massive action and achieve the proverbial "hockey stick" in the next three weeks.

    It was VERY interesting to read that even a guy with your record of immense success has had some ups and downs.

    There is no question that your will prevail.
    Hope to cross paths with you again, sometime.

  12. Hi Kevin,
    Thanks for your open and honest appraisal of what has been happening in your business and with you. I was a member of your mastermind for almost two years, and when I first started I soaked up everything you put out. But, eventually I became frustrated because the messages being presented lost meaning for me. I know we are all marketers, and to make money, we need to sell stuff. But, recently every message has been "this is exactly what we do in our business", and often promoting competing profits fairly close together. Thus, I stopped viewing Nitro Marketing as a trusted adviser and went looking for someone else.

    I am glad you have found some peace and wish you the best in your quest.
    Cheers,
    Jeff

  13. Hi Kevin,
    Thank you so much for sharing. I think we all have our stories that can be very inspiring.

    I am 61 years old. My husband and I have been together for 24 years. He held a job here and there, but for only short periods of time. I am the stepmother of 3 children, whom I love dearly. Because their father was unable to hold down a job, I became the bread winner for the family and paid child support. In order to do that I became a slave to the corporation.

    My husband tried very hard to make things work, but his moods and sleeping patterns didn't allow for that. After some heavy contemplation, we decided to start a business. He would work the business and I would hold down the job and do sales for him on the side. Unfortunately, I would bring orders back which my husband was unable to fulfill. You can imagine what that did to our relationship.

    I was 53 and he was 57 and we were forced into bankruptcy. We lost everything. Our home, our credit and even some of our friends.

    After 16 years of being together, I woke up one morning, looked at my husband and thought to myself. Who is this guy? He's not the man I met so many years ago. I started thinking that we had a bigger problem. He had been treated for depression for many years, but he did not seem to be getting any better. I called and made an appointment with our doctor. He was referred to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed not only with bipolar disorder, but 4 other mental illnesses.

    I started a business once we had the opportunity to purchase a home and get back on our feet. Things are not where I hoped they would be from a financial perspective. I know that will change.

    In the interim, I know that we will be OK – better than OK. We are currently using up the last of our savings, and I know this sounds insane, but I know things will work out. They always do. I meditate and count my blessings and am working very hard. I know things will come together when they are meant to.

    Thanks again to everyone for sharing. I believe everything happens for a reason . . .

    Cheers,
    Bonnie

  14. Yes, please continue.

  15. Yes, please continue, just be honest and true and don't try to sell me
    with these posts or I will lose a little faith in mankind.

  16. Carl Kukec

    Kevin, sharing of yourself honestly and with right intention has been inspirational on so many levels … though via the internet we come together from all corners of the world, often it feels we walk alone … but then your name appears in our inboxes, and we know we are anyting but alone.

    Thank you Kevin for all that you give of yourself

  17. Kevin,

    We've been friends since 1997, maybe even 1996. In Internet terms, that's forever, right? What you've been describing here is very familiar to me and, in my experience and observation, pretty familiar to every genuinely-successful entrepreneur.

    These crises of confidence and faith in yourself, your chosen direction and who you really are seem to occur about every 12-15 years for me. But I know now, as I approach 70, that they don't last. In fact, nothing lasts but the relationships we value most and invest ourselves and our time in.

    I'm happier now than I've ever been. I learned, long ago, the importance of learning to let go… not to invest emotion in anything but people, particularly those most important to you: family.

    Last Friday, Lynne and I were blessed with grandchild #12, a healthy, beautiful little boy who is one of four born to our second-youngest daughter and her partner.

    Whenever I feel down, I climb into the car and drive over to play with some of my younger grandchildren (we have two groupings, one half from 23-15, the other half from 7 yo to 5 days old.) That puts me back on track faster than anything.

    I also have a small number of very old, close friends whom I love and trust implicitly. We've helped each other through every kind of drama and disaster imaginable, from divorce, death, bankruptcy, etc to to sharing the high times. My best friend, whom I counselled and consoled through divorce and estrangement from his two daughters more than a decade ago, came over yesterday to tell me that he proposed to new love of exactly a year on Sunday afternoon and to invite me to the wedding. His daughters — with whom he reconciled years ago — will be the bride's attendants.

    When you're driven by altruism and the desire to lift others, just remember that we can really only do so from a position of personal strength. Conserve your strength and energy. Stay close to a few trusted confidants. Don't spread yourself too thin. And make time for yourself and for them.

    Okay — gratuitous advice now over! Any time you feel like unloading, my Skype and phone numbers are on every page of any of my web sites. I have broad shoulders and I know how to keep confidences.

    Check out my own mission and vision here…
    http://youtu.be/n2bnQXHsYMs (4 minute video — easy to watch)

    Fond regards,

    John
    Marketing Doctor at The Profit Clinic

  18. George Sutton

    Hey Kevin,
    Let 'er rip, 'tater chip!
    Really, it's RELATIONSHIPS that make business work, and frankly, being open, honest and vulnerable is a great STRENGTH that builds stronger bonds. Most people are too afraid to be vulnerable, fearing that others may turn away. You know, some MAY turn away – and those are the people I don't want to do business with anyway.
    Want to inspire others? Be YOU. Be HONEST. And I know you are. You've inspired me in the past, and I know you will in the future. Sure, my life has been really f**ed up, but without you and people like you, who really actually CARE about how they impact others, I can't imagine how much worse off I'd be… I may be flat broke, but because of guys (and gals) like you, I have hope for a brighter future. Please, continue your story.

  19. Kevin –

    Thank you for your vulnerability and generosity.
    I've done much self development work myself – including the Landmark Forum, and the Quantum Leap Program with Peak Potentials… I too have been on a similar journey of sorts.

    You have always been a man of honor and integrity for me. And I respect you.

    Looking forward to what's next… for both of us.

    Much Love,
    Lynne
    In the process of redeveloping myself as well.

  20. AlexB

    Yes, please continue, Kevin.
    I think that if you are honest and provide a real value to your clients then you will be always awarded by good profit, by good family, by good place to live, by good people around you.
    Everyone of us who hits the bottom should find his own way out of it. And the main advice here is to continue your search and never give up.
    Best wishes,
    AlexB.

  21. Neil W

    OK Kevin – I know you know what the answer is.

    Forget about your business; it is secondary to taking care of 'yourself'. If ever my business is stalling I now only ever look to my inner self for the answers. BUT this doesn't mean sitting at my desk scratching my head trying to come up with the next 'shiny object'. That never works when you are in any state of despair or confidence is at a low ebb.

    Put your own 'thinking' right – the rest will follow: fresh ideas, confidence, energy.

    Many people know that the remedy to their perceived failings in life is through mental conditioning but 99.9% fail because they never see it through. WHY?

    'Seeing it through' is a commitment – not just for a few weeks until life turns around (and it definitely will, trust me!) There are so many external influences that can blight our lives and slowly deteriorate confidence and self esteem and undo the positive vibe you have created.

    Sometimes, as your life turns around you forget what 'thinking' put you there! You may choose to no longer exercise your 'thoughts' because everything is going well and you no longer have 'time'. THAT'S C**P and a BIG MISTAKE. Sooner or later the doubts will resurface – a month later, a year later, who knows, but it will happen.

    30, 40, 50 years of frailty – and we ALL have mental frailty in some department – is not undone forever in 6 months.

    REMEMBER – Take care of YOURSELF first – your thoughts, your well being, your vision.
    Everything else will follow – great business, family, relationships.

    Live with Belief.

  22. Dear Kevin
    Thank you for sharing your innermost feelings and personal journey. Please do share as it inspires me and it is giving me lessons reading yours and other peoples sharing. Until a year ago I was in a corpporate role earning 6 figure income and life became a roller coaster…my sister died, i was made redundant and i grieved for a year. I could not do anything productive although I studied pranic healing, pranic psychotherapy, naturopathy, etc health related courses with certificates. These are totally a different path from being an in-house tax adviser to a group of companies earning a least £1B per annum.
    I paid for the LBMM 2 years ago with a partner who was going to do the work while I continue with my corporate world. He never delivered so I have to start learning the programme myself now that I left my corporate world. I am resisting to go back to work for other people but reading the various roller coaster of people sharing here, it gives me a chill. I must ACT before my savings runs out or go back to work. I am also taking on board the sharing of Brock – so many people are doing the same thing, so he changed direction. So I question myself whether I can hack it the IM world. I also noticed that your emails in the recent times are mainly promoting other people so I hardly open your emails. Indeed felt that you were drifting towards promoting other people everytime I read your emails and for awhile I stopped opening your emails. I wanted to learn from you and hence I enrolled in your programme because I felt that you were the only one on stage who was speaking from the Heart. So keep find that hear again…Be yourself…and as Sherry Rand said… Sherry Rand
    Yes, please continue, just be honest and true and don't try to sell me
    with these posts or I will lose a little faith in mankind.
    A lot of people – confess emotions,etc and then do Upsell! so for me it lost its meaning. I hope to read your post with that in mind.

    Keep Sharing…
    Love from
    Chloris

  23. Brian Cooper

    Yes, it is helpful.
    I'm trying to relate it to my life.
    please continue.

  24. Julie

    I wish I could scoop you up in my arms and just give you the biggest (and longest)embracing hugs and kiss your forehead and let you know everything will be just fine.

    This is one of the most, honest, transparent blogs I have read all year. I'll be praying for you Kevin. One step at a time bud, everything will be fine…

    J x

  25. Hi Kevin,

    How long have we known each other? I see you as the one that will always succeed. Well done!, my NLP instructor would say.

    It's because of you, that I am able to keep moving forward after a wild 'loss' that has become a gift for me. It is because of you that I"m reminded anything is possible. It is because of you that I believe success online is possible. It is because of you that I had a path to success: a coach and NLP. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    Most importantly, I believe in you. You can do anything you put your mind to AND you're willing to get in the ditch and dig deep to make it happen. You have what it takes.

    Yes, please continue.

    Love and hugs,
    Theresa

  26. Yes, Kevin! Keep sharing! It is instructive and inspiring.

  27. Kevin,
    Bravo.
    For being self aware enough to know that you needed to change.
    For asking and seeking help to make this happen.
    For Sharing honestly and forthrightly in the journey and results.
    Please continue.

    Time for some constructive feedback.
    As you can see from all of these replies – your integrity to really want to help comes across in what you do and say – this is a doubled edged sword because when you are not connected to that (as you were relating has been the case) – it is obvious.
    And then it just seems like we're being sold too.

    That being said – As a purchaser of LBMM 3 years ago.
    I recently bought and am actioning on PPC profits and think that you and Rob have built a caring, growing, community based around an exciting viable business.
    So thank you for the opportunity.

    I wish you all the gratitude that you can find – because without gratitude everything in life is worthless.

    warm regards
    Marcus

  28. Over the years I have seen, heard and so many "Gurus" who talk up what they are all about and their life and the TRUTH is that for most of us their "life story" is not the reality what we are all going through. The end result is that we constantly feel that we must still be doing something wrong. The TRUTH is that to be down and out is to be human. "To err is to be human" as Shakespear said. Despite being entrepreneurs or business operators, we are first and foremost human.

    I am going through similar, but not quite so intense, feelings at the moment as I am in the process of starting not only a new business but one that is unique, globally it seems. The result is that because it is so new, people are loathe to change their status quo thinking. It will happen of course as I get better at detailing its benefits etc.

    How refreshing to hear someone in your position speak about their life situation and their life lessons from real experiences and not from a programme they paid money for.

    Good on you mate from Down Under.

  29. Kevin
    I find your candor refreshing.
    I can relate on several levels. Having had personal down – periods, I can see myself carrying the 'weight' you describe that has bogged me down creating a certain paralysis.
    I am a Nitro member and my website is connected to my LBMM membership.
    I have recently been more energized that ever to blast this thing off!
    get unshackled from that weight!
    Push through fears of selling! Success! and get moving!
    Let me know what you are up to now, I'd love to connect!
    Your friend
    Rick Garcia

  30. Robert Cadle

    Kevin

    I am just going to make a quick comment or so, but your poignant tale, which required "guts" to write, deserves as many plus responses as possible.

    I am going to write more, much more, to send to your email address which I hope is still valid.

    For if I began to write, my "Notes" would blow your bandwidth for the month.
    DIGRESSION.
    NOTE: A few pages from here, you will see what I mean, saying: "This is a NOTE??!!"

    END DIGRESSION
    I am a passionate Irishman writer, so I dare not start here for one important reason. When I fought commies in the various forums and in person, etc, going back to the sixties, and then taught people how to be victorious in that element, I learned to "background" every instruction with the "why" behind it and so forth. THIS is not the place to write aN in depth as I am used to doing. Just ask my hundreds of loyal facebookers, etc.

    And having a long life of ups and downs, I can relate as well as anyone, for I will not see 75 again. My life was fairly tough upbringing, and we saw success from hard work on a 'hardscrabble" farm ranch in the middle of nowhere in the plains of Colorado. No electricity, no phone and the water went bad until we had to haul it in from town. And after three years of struggle, a sudden massive hailstorm…destroyed everything in forty five minutes, and injured my Mom as well. Bank loan due, etc and in two months, the sheriff sold off what we had, my Dad took a very tough job way up in Alaska, which in those days just had that dirt road to get there, etc and my Mom and I moved into ONE ROOM at the edge of a tiny town. At least we had electricity, but it still had the old outdoor "privy" and I carried our water from a gas station.

    Tough..And the only job available for me at age fourteen, was to hire on with the Mexican labor force that came up annually to thin sugar beets. Suddenly I was crawling down half mile long rows or beets for 77cents an hour. And that got my Mom and I bus tickets to California….

    I will stop here,(DON'T BELIEVE HIM, HE MEANS WELL) since few others would be interested in such, but I build a case to show that the trip from high to low can happen in forty five minutes or three months or whatever. In my generation, we were much tougher than MOST of today's families, for cokes and Hershey bars were unknown and we walked or rode horses to get places or didn't go.

    I will share some more with you, but mostly I want to show and encourage you, because I have experienced these things many many times, and have been "way down there" with myself a few times for sure. But I am a hard core Christian, so I have THAT strength, but when the axe falls, it's easy to try to pull yourself out with your own power. And there are plenty of "Guru's" who try to jack you up, etc, but no matter what anyone may believe in, seeking that will greatly increase the speed at which you recover.

    There are certain personalities who suffer from ups and downs more than others. Usually they are the kind…which you always seemed to be, Kevin, who just can't "do enough" for others, to your own detriment all too often.(I INVENTED THAT!)

    I will leave this here, a slogan that I learned right after I got back as a combat veteran at age twenty , and decided to see New York City and those "hard nosed New Yorkers" we all heard about. HA. I went into sales and found, to the contrary, that New Yorkers are tougher minded than Midwestern, perhaps, but I NEVER, in all my years since then, found a more loyal customer base when they found that you were honest and fun and kept your word. I was spoiled for years, income wise, because in a few months, customers flooded me with leads and more often, brought the people to me.

    One day, the owner, Mr Hammond, said to us:

    Imagine a Yiddish accent here: "Boys, I want to teach you something you never want to forget. Whether in business, or marriage, or girl friend relationships, or any thing else. Here's the slogan: (I wrote it down)

    "YOUR FIRST LOSS, IS ALWAYS YOUR CHEAPEST ONE".

    And he continued."When you are losing money, position, personal relationships, step back as SOON as you realize you are on a downslope. Evaluate: Has a chain store opened a few blocks from you? Is there anything YOU can honestly do to fix that problem? Usually it's no, though you will begin to con yourself with wishful thinking. TAKE YOUR LOSS NOW, no matter how it hurts, because if you con yourself, you will soon be selling off assets or worse, and a year later your loss will be many many times worse.

    The same with marriages or anything else.

    I did not do that on two occasions as the decades flew by and man, did I lose. One time, we saw the handwriting on the wall when Jimmy Carter and his *****'s (THIS IS A FAMILY FORUM) destroyed the Real Estate markets, especially in our rural and very successful (tons of hard work) Real Estate business. "Can we change the interest rate destruction? NO. Can we even close the 33 open escrows on houses? NO, not when rates had jumped from 9 percent to TWENTY TWO AND A HALF PERCENT. We hung on for a while, but this time that old slogan haunted me, so I gave back 37 real estate licenses to agents, closed two locations, took a blood bath on the equipment and our hundreds of hours of work in improving the leased locations. Others were shocked. For in a short while I was voted Realtor of the Year and then Board President. But when it was over, we had a house upon which we owed very little and sixty thousand dollars in 1982 dollars.THAT WAS THE TIME THAT I OBEYED THAT SLOGAN.
    (WISH WE STILL HAD THAT)
    See? I knew if I got started, my Irish fingers won't quit because I always want to share stories about the ups and downs of life, and most often, the downs are not your fault at all, as witnessed above…

    I will write a little more, Kevin (an Irish name), but I should never have started this late at night, for now I am facing a very serious physical down, and need to share with the world those things that will bring encouragement to others, who may see themselves in a story and say : HEY.

    GOD bless you, Kevin

  31. Wendall

    Kevin

    I am a 64 year old Vietnam Veteran and I can relate to ups and downs. After 44 years I got some help and discovered that I had been suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), all these years. I had never shared feelings about Vietnam and what I had gone through. But I am finding out, that the more I talk about it the more heeling I get from it. So I salute you for sharing all your thoughts and feelings I believe things will get better. I was part of your Local Niche blueprint Program or still am. Did not do much with it, hopefully I can get back in to it again.

  32. Jim

    Thanks for the post! I've been riding a similar roller coaster for the last several years as well. It motivated me to start trying to setup several businesses, none have which have really taken off. I find myself wanting to do a business, then never having the time and money to really get it off the ground, so I tend to abandon it.

    This article reminded me to get back to basics and focus on one thing, instead of bouncing from one idea to the next.

  33. What I'm getting out of this is that it's important to know who we are and why we put ourselves under so much pressure. And that I'm not the only one being hard on myself. Everything we do needs to have a WHY and without it, we loose business, we loose ourselves in thought process and downtime. Your story is so relatable and inspiring at the same time. When I hit my rock bottom, I thought of your story and subconsciously, it was giving me hope that I'm going to start climbing up and sure enough it happened that same week.When you come out of the down time, you come out stronger and better. What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger. Keep writing please!

  34. Never, Ever, Ever, Give Up On God!
    All of us have gone through the necessary 'Chastisement'
    and re-awakening. This is because it is not about US. It
    is about God and Us. He has prepared us all to be grateful
    and thankful for His Grace.
    I certainly have been thankful for all He has done over the last 14 years.
    Let us all be prepared for blessings so that we can all Greatly Inspire, Teach, Support and Empower all of the thousands of people that God will bring to us, and transform their lives.
    We all have a story to tell. Tell it joyfully. God loves us
    all, more than we can imagine.
    Be Strong. Do Well and Live Prosperous.

    Winston, Sr.

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